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  • ninacrutchfield

All Souls Day 2020

Just prior to this year's All Souls Feast Day, when we are called to pray for all the known and unknown departed, our family lost a cousin. As I sat after Mass, praying for him, the Holy Spirit wrote a letter, through me, to his mother.

There is nothing in this life worse than losing a child. It is not supposed to happen. Parents are supposed to leave this world first, waiting for their children in heaven. And, yet, it does happen. You are left to cherish all the memories of taking your baby home from the hospital, his first steps, your fear of letting him ride out of the driveway on his first motorcycle, your prayers for him to find his way in life, to find the woman to spend his days, his laughter at a good joke and at shared meals.

The worst part is the world continues as if a piece of you is not missing. The best part is the world continues as if a piece of you is not missing. If the world stopped for death, you would wallow in your own sorrow and grief for as long as you wish. No, the world forces you to put one foot in front of the other. Forces you to go through your daily routine. Forces you to interact rather than shut down.

All of this is designed to solidify joy rather than sorrow. It seems completely counter-intuitive, I know, dear child. I do want you to know joy again. I know it will not be right away. Your heart will take time to heal, but it will happen.

Part of your fear is thinking he will be forgotten. His is not. Prayers are being offered for your son. Masses are being said for him. His name has been added to a parish Book of Souls and he receives the blessing of daily prayer from family and strangers. I assure you, he is not alone in his ethereal journey toward me.

He has not forgotten you, either. As he grows closer to Me, I hear him singing your praises, lifting you up during your darkest days. He laughs so warm and richly as he's relating stories of growing up and the love you shared with him. It does not matter that I know the stories already. I love hearing him tell them, feeling his love for you.

As you move through your grief, know he waits for you. He is enjoying reconnecting with your parents and other family members you long to see again. Today you are covered by a veil of sadness. Slowly, the veil will start to lift. You will start to feel life return to your soul. When you do, know I am by your side, where I have always been, even if you cannot see or feel me right now.

You are loved, dear child.


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