I was feeling pretty good about myself after successfully making it through Ash Wednesday. Getting up early to go to 7:00 am Mass, eating 1 true meal of the day rather than my usual 3, and then I blew it. I intentionally purchased 2 pizzas for supper on Thursday evening, one a veggie, knowing we'd get several meals out of them. The veggie would get me through the first Friday of Lent without meat.
With all that planning, you'd think I have been more careful Friday morning when I pulled the boxes out of the fridge to savor an old college habit of cold pizza for breakfast. About halfway through the piece, it dawned on me that I was tasting sausage rather than Italian pepperoncini.
I finished the piece, mostly because I hate to waste food, but it had lost its flavor. Only 3 days in and I had bombed my intention to make it through the season without failing to abstain from meat on Fridays.
I know there aren't any Lent police. I won't burn in hell for eating meat on Friday during Lent. There are no physical consequences for eating the sausage. More than anything, I'm disappointed in myself. Something so simple as denying myself abundance in order to focus more on God and I didn't even make it past day 3. If I can't trust myself to surrender in the little things, how will I ever know if I can surrender my will to His in the big things?
I start over tomorrow. It's a marathon, not a sprint, after all. Here's to hoping I am better tomorrow than I was today.
